Lately I've been thinking....

So lately there has been many things on my mind. Many things that I can simply brush aside and be done with, yet there is one thing that alludes me. The only that is still always on my mind.
What could that be you ask, well if you know me, you may have notice something. Something very odd. What could that be you may ask?
Well, until recently, I have hidden the fact that I've been single for ten years. Its not something to be proud of at all. Normally people my age are working a thing know as marriage and are already having kids.
Not me. I'm still very much single, living a semi good life. Is it where I wanna be? Not at all. I never had dreams of sitting at desk telling people how to fix their cable problems. This is just merely a speed bump in the road of life. Do I see an ending coming on that horizon?
Yes, like everything in the world, my time of sitting at a desk talking to faceless voices will come to a close and a new chapter will clearly begin.
Things like this I can see clearly, but as for finding someone has always been less and less clear. I have dreams that I'm with someone, and I am really happy, but when I awake I find the cold reality sets in. Yet in my dreams it is always the same, I never see the person face, the are unknown, only a faceless, sexless being that is suppose to represent the person that I will be with. I wish I would know who that person was, maybe things would be very easy to figure out.
So I'm stuck, always feeling depressed, as the world spins round, people pair up, I am left matchless. It is a factor that I face everyday, never really able to forget about.
I know that it is a good thing to be able to self sufficient, but you know there is always an aspect of having someone there beside you, riding this crazy ride with you, that just makes the world more complete. Someone who knows you inside and out, and simple does not judge you for it. Someone who will share their life experiences with yours, and you can share a bond that will make the world suddenly seem right.
Over the years I have been told never go looking for, let it happen. Search for it and you'll find it. But of everything I've tried it just seems impossible. When will I fine the so called one? I dunno. Will the stars had to align at just the right moment? I wish I knew. Will it be love at first sight? I high doubt that.
There clearly has to be something that I'm missing. Who knows when I finally figure it all out. But don't you think its rather odd to be single for so long?

Hopefully there will be a day when I won't be thinking about this anymore, when will that day happen? That is the mystery that I'm struggling to find a conclusion too.